Anvilporn (The Skyrim Smithing Song) by Pros for Cons

As I sat there in Skyrim, the savior of the realm, I thought how messed up does a dude have to be to sit at a forge while the world is burning around him. So I wrote this silly song with that in mind. Hope it makes ya giggle.

WARNING contains some adult language... let's call it 12+

Lyrics:
The world of Skyrim's really in trouble I can tell
there's big ol' dragons everywhere and as Dragonborn, I should help
Nobles, thieves, and mages all come knockin' at my door
sayin' lizards need killin'
but I'm good chillin' by the forge

Be. Cause. I'm. Spendin' all of my time, just
Sittin' here at Whiterun, makin' iron daggars
My armory's the shit, that's the truth, no need for braggin'.
you might be gettin' kicks, killin' bandits in the meadows.
While I'm squishy as a sparrow, but dude! Check out all my dragon arrows.

Sittin' at the forge, all my coals are poppin'.
Level one hundred, then suddenly stoppin' but
for the sake of economics, I broke out my necronomicon and
summoned an army of ember sprites to work my thermoponics.

Ember sprites: YAAAAAY! Let's make some shit!
Spoken: You crazy hell spawns!

I know I'll eventually get on that savior thing
Sprites: do doooo do dooooo!

But not before I make a cabin outta chicken wings!
Sprites: outta chicken wings!

Even when Mehrunes Dagon came round stompin' and raizing, just big as a barge
Dagon: WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW!!
one ember sprite: Daddy!

Turns out the poor thing was chaffing.
So I made a pair of Daedric underwear in about 10,000LG

Dagon: AH.....
The we ate some bards!

I'm safe here at home, just me and my bellows
the life of a smith can get lonely, I'll tell ya.
But even Karliah's heart will be on fire,
when I make her a legendary bow from three papayas

Karliah: oooo....

I'm sittin' here at Whiterun, makin' iron daggars
and I can't hear your screams of pain while drownin' in swaaaagaaaar
you want a wagon? Dude, no problem! just bring sap and thirty badgers.

It leaves my clients breathless,
they've started callin' me Hephaestus.
I know i'm Dragonborn, but
I'm in love with Anvilporn so

If you need me I'll be here
polishin' my dagger!

Ember sprites and Dagon: polish that dagger, polish it good
polish that dagger like a big piece o' wood!

Ah....
Sprite: and Vulcan can suck it!
Spoken: he sure can ya little Satan nugget!