not here... not there... somewhere... 花犯 (2019) for flute and clarinet by Zhuosheng Jin 金卓晟

Recording by Xiaoyu Lin (flute) and Vasko Dukovski (clarinet), Apr. 26, 2023 in Shenzhen.

Score purchase: https://www.babelscores.com/catalogs/instrumental/5441-not-here-not-there-somewhere

This piece is a study of human relationships. Genders and types are irrelevant. In a relationship, each individual is both dependent and independent. The conflict and struggles between us bring us closer while generating confusion. Who am I, who are you, what am I to you and what are you to me? By trying to find the self compared to others, we are also losing the self to the others.

Parallel to the physical space, we also live in an immense psychological space inside of our minds. Since we often face difficulties locating ourselves in this invisible world, we feel uncomfortable. We don’t like to lose the control of our positions, so we try to offer, to lie, to love, to harm, to kiss, and to kill. What do we get in the end?

Maybe human beings are a kind of creature that can only be either absolutely lonely or extremely complicated.

Cover image © Alice Farion