002: Please Don't Should All Over Yourself - Andrew #2 by Your Mental Breakdown

This week, Doug and Meredith reminisce about Doug’s parachute pants and MerDog’s love of Megadeth. They talk about how to know when a session is over, taking notes, and how they prevent burnout. Doug shares his Buddhism dropout story, and then we dive into the client’s second therapy session. During the session, Doug and the Client focus on the themes of vulnerability, balance, and how better to control our negative thoughts. Key Takeaways: [7:40] Meredith prevents burnout by taking care of herself physically, spending time with her beloved family, and finding balance with work and life. [12:00] Doug uses narrative therapy, metaphors, and analogies because it gives the client a way to take the pressure off of themselves and see the point objectively. [13:46] Session Begins. [17:06] We learned from the first session that two of the important themes right now for the Client are vulnerability and balance. [22:02] The Client is working on communicating his need for reassurance with his girlfriend and expressing his boundaries for spending time apart. Overall, he feels very comfortable with his girlfriend and is examining what love really means to him. He is dealing with some insecurities from what happened in past relationships. [29:44] Doug explains three stages of thought: 1. The thought arises. (we have no control over what thoughts pop up in our heads) 2. We may take it and entertain it, (we often analyze it as something good or bad). 3. We decide to take action. This is where we have the most control over these thoughts. We can play the “What If” game by a different set of rules, adding the positive possibilities to the negative expectations we hold. In reality anything can happen and anxiety comes when we only “what if” negatives. [40:41] The Client has normalized some of his mom’s behavior to keep going in life, and Doug assures him that he did great for what he needed at the time. [50:14] The Client is practicing mindfulness and being more present in the moment. He is already starting to use the tools he and Doug are working on since their first session. [51:05] Session ends. Breakdown begins. [55:08] Meredith was impressed with the Client’s ability to be so introspective and realize that the more he is authentically himself, the closer he will get to his goals in 5 years. [1:01:02] Be sure not to “should” all over yourself. We all have cracks in how we think we should be, and accept them instead of judging them. [1:10:26] Next week, Doug will dive more into examining the Client’s separation anxiety and how it stemmed from his relationship with his mother. Contact Us: Mentioned in this episode: “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” Attributed to Mark Twain in Reader’s Digest, Apr. 1934. “There is surely nothing other than the single purpose of the moment. A man's whole life is a succession of moment after moment. If one fully understands the present moment, there is nothing left to do, and nothing else to pursue.” Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (1999)