R1 Institution by legault

[Verse 1]
One evening as the sun went down and the conference hall was churning
Down the lane came a postdoc grinnin' and they said, "Oh, I love learning”
“I'm headed for a land that's far away, there is no substitution”
“So come with me, we'll go and see the R1 Institution”

[Verse 2]
In the R1 Institution, there’s a land that’s fair and bright
Where convention is rejected and ideas are never trite
Where the labs are never empty and the press calls every day
With the shiny prestige and the high student fees
Where accolades spring and publishing’s king
In the R1 Institution

[Verse 3]
In the R1 Institution, all the profs have many grants
Noted speakers come from all around and the students are savants
The office is a short commute and the work week is three days
Oh, I'm bound to go where there’s no one slow
Where research don’t stall, the pay don’t blow
In the R1 Institution

[Verse 4]
In the R1 Institution, you’ll rarely teach a class
And the subject will be up to you, even if no one could pass
The deans all have to tip their hats since the donors know your name
Where titles accrue and some Nobels too
You can add them to your C.V. with your big breakthrough
In the R1 Institution

[Verse 5]
In the R1 Institution, sabbaticals are long
And you can take second one to write a rousing song
There ain’t no ugly stadiums, no overhead, grades, or cheats
I'll be retained where the best are trained
Where they fired the jerk who rejected my work
In the R1 Institution

[Whistling]
I'll see you all this coming fall in the R1 Institution