Statue Meme by Stevie Furnace published on 2019-02-24T18:25:46Z In February of 2019, denizens of the Fairmount and Brewerytown neighborhoods of Philadelphia received a mysterious letter informing them that all the food they've eaten since the first grade is still alive inside their bodies and that the only way to avoid catastrophe is to build a steel furnace and turn yourself into a steel statue (or seal yourself in cement). Here, just read it for yourself: https://www.reddit.com/r/philadelphia/comments/arb9zo/wtf_found_this_in_my_door_this_morning/ This is our ode to the Furnace Man -- to the tune of Dancing Queen, by his favorite band, ABBA. Written by Andrew Fiorentino. Sung by Tara Gontek with backup vocals by Regina McMonagle Lopardo. Produced by Sandbox Music. Lyrics: Ooooh, All that meat Still alive All that food’s with me for life Oooh, furnace man Statue me Make me a statue meme Learning new things about your food Getting news that’ll change your mood Drop whatever you’re doing, get over to Girard We’re gonna get real hard Anybody can really thrive Unless their food’s been cooked alive Just become a steel statue, everything is fine Or seal yourself in cement First we’ll sedate you, then You’ll be a statue meme Turned to steel, your first-grade body Statue meme Feel the heat from the furnace scene, oh yeah All that meat, still alive All that food’s with you for life Ooh, furnace man, statue me Make me a statue meme Anesthesia, don’t do it wrong Melt some metal, get in that jawn Mixing it with your body, never hurting you Or seal yourself in cement First we’ll sedate you, then You’ll be a statue meme Turned to steel, your first-grade body Statue meme Feel the heat from the furnace scene, oh yeah All that meat, still alive All that food’s with you for life Ooh, furnace man, statue me Make me a statue meme Do attend Genre Parody Comment by J DuBois this might just be the greatest remix ever made 2019-05-02T13:55:17Z
