burden by Unhinged

After countless unfinished, finished and deleted projects, this is me. I've tried to make 'happy' or 'brighter' sounding songs but it just isn't me. It feels fake to create. Which the same cannot be said for the dark tracks, for each dark track I've created both released and unreleased, it has been a huge factor towards damage reduction.

I've realised the purpose behind all the sad, dark, emo music. it's better to create something with that energy than to cause further harm to yourself or others.

This song is from my next album, I'm not 100% happy with it, I could go and change it but I feel like in it's current form it is an exact expression of the things I wanted to express which I won't go into here. For that it's why I decided to release today.

If you're somebody struggling to understand my music or why I make it, then it isn't for you.

Lyrics:
Damaged freak with a mental disease
I'm trapped in between the living n deceased
Tryna find a reason to breathe
But I got more reasons to leave

in this sequence of grief
In order to live I need to release
(these)Suicidal tendencies
(that's)Always been a part of me

Always tried to fight it but it's scarring me
Used to try feel different with self harm on a daily

-
Shit drove me crazy
Gonna need a miracle to save me
Like I been cursed since a baby
The path I was paving been fading

Positivity been evading
lost in the dark where it's raining
black rotten heart , mind caving
soul torn apart, left shaking

But I keep smiling and waving
Can't let them see that I'm breaking
Can't let them see my soul aching
-
Can't let em know I felt like a burden so I had to go

-
Complex inferior
Internal hysteria
Eternal dysphoria
Addiction euphoria

Searching for utopia
Living so dystopian
Memories sting like a scorpion
Walking out that door again

Expecting things to fuck up without warning
Peace is all I'm wanting
But there's a war within
I feel dead amongst the living

Keys ripped from the ignition
Just hopeless and wishing
I can feel something different
Doom seeming imminent

all my strength withering
Searching deep within
Tryna find what my purpose is
Only thing I found is where the monsters live

Been like this since a kid
It's permanent like skin
Til life's cycle ends
and a new one begins

-
Shit drives me crazy
Gonna need a miracle to save me
Like I been cursed since a baby
The path I was paving been fading

Positivity been evading
lost in the dark where it's raining
black rotten heart , mind caving
soul torn apart, left shaking

But I keep smiling and waving
Can't let them see that I'm breaking
Can't let them see my soul aching