Love Me by Offspring Mysterious

Aaaa yes, Valentines day where everybody is love with their partners while I'm over here having to deal with getting cheated 2 times, women saying they don't want me to talk about my problems but want me to help them out and ghost on.......... O sorry can we start that over?

You know over the years Walking Onslaughts has been encountering this strange emotion with their hearts. Even Onslaught had to ask him "sir, what is this strange feeling in my heart" "I don't know but I don't like this one bit." Hollow Offspring did some research on the laptop to see what was that about. Of course knowing google, the first thing it say "you're suffering symptoms of stage two heart cancer. That strange feeling in your heart is the bacteria building up your blood cord to your heart, causing it to stop for 20 seconds. Once it gets loose, a burst of blood shoots right to your heart causing it to beat faster then its usual rate. That's called a heart attack" When they read that, they all looked at each other and panic like crazy. Good thing Spawn was the smart one to do more research on it to see them feeling love. Offspring response, "LOVE?????? What the fuck is that? You know we don't have hearts around here." Onslaught " Yea i mean, I love killing and all but it doesn't mean I love the victims i killed." Spawn, "Hey don't look at me, I'm just reading what it says." Offspring, "pfff man we don't need no lovey dubby bullshit, let's get out of here gang." *Poof* they disappear. Few days later, Strange things been happening to them. Onslaught saw this very beautiful woman smiling at him with a very bright oura around her. Of course his first instinct was to kill. Well, it was until her energy was too much for him to handle. Eventually, he gave in to his love side and it was murder she wrote from there. The guys mostly Offspring was disgusted when he heard the news. The guys made a plan to pull up to her house and kill his gf. It was almost full proof until H2O saw a lady eyeing him down and working his mind. He couldn't shake it out of his head cause she had him where she want em. Then another fallen soldier went down. Now it was just Spawn and Offspring until a very hot lady from starbucks was giggling about his outfit. He was trying to clown her but only for him to be the whole circus. Thus their new emotion is on a killstreak, one more kill and it can summon it's UAV. Offspring went to Ponyvile to shake off that sense of love in his heart. Only to shake is heart right into a very beautiful lady's cottage filled with wildlife. I don't know how she did but boy did she got Offspring in a love trance.

Moral of the story, love always wins no matter ow much hate you have in your heart. Unless love did you wrong like me then fuck love am I right?????? I'm so lonely..........

#OffspringMysterious #WalkingOnslaughts #LoveMe #Valentinesday