silver lining by Elsi Sloan

the silver lining of my suffering to know
I'm loving you with everything I have to give away
my heart has forgotten how to beat
on it's own with a rhythm soft and trustworthy
how am I supposed to fall asleep alone?
now all the warmth has gone to waste
giving and keeping are not the same
I've heard feelings tend to fade
existing in one place at a time is a
difficult task for a wondering mind
lights too loud and sounds too bright
you wash my colours away from your bedsheets
I try to unlearn the way that I breathed in the golden cage she built for me

I have a tendency of diving too fast too deep
I bonk my head on the bottom of the picine
you're a fool to believe you could have everything
I'm a fool to believe I could exist beyond my golden cage once so cozy and blissful
this is not about choosing you over her
this is the story of how I fell for you and will forever love her
I wanted to fall I wanted to dive I wanted to bleed
never to hurt never to leave

time heals wounds made of black and white
only neon splatters in my inner fight
is it too late to flee out of sight?

the silver lining of my suffering to know
I'm loving you with everything I have to give away