The Miracle Syndicate - I Lose Myself by The Miracle Syndicate

I Lose Myself
by The Miracle Syndicate

I disappear when you lean in,
like that’s the deal we never said.
I go quiet to keep the moment.
You stay soft, I stay bent.

I don’t ask for permission.
I don’t call it a need.
I just stand in the after
of what you give, not what you mean.

I keep mistaking the warmth
for somewhere to land.

I only feel like myself
when I’m almost gone.
I only feel understood
when I’m holding on.

I call it connection,
but it feels like cost.
I don’t lose you.
I lose myself.

You don’t promise, you hover,
like that’s mercy somehow.
I take fragments and make them
into something allowed.

Every look is a question.
Every touch is a test.
I keep passing by failing.
I keep saying I’m fine with less.

I tell my body to wait.
It doesn’t listen to me.

I only feel like myself
when I’m almost gone.
I only feel understood
when I’m holding wrong.

I call it desire,
but it feels like cost.
I don’t lose you.
I lose myself.

I lose myself.

Was this meant to be fire
or just something warm?
Was I meant to feel chosen
or quietly torn?

I don’t need forever.
I don’t need control.
I just want to stop trading
pieces of my soul.

I only feel like myself
when I’m almost gone.
I only feel alive
when I’m holding on.

I call this desire,
but it feels like loss.
I don’t lose you.
I lose myself.

I lose myself.

I only feel like myself
when I’m almost gone.
I only feel safe
when I’m not asking for more.

I call this heaven,
but I’m crossed.
I don’t lose you.
I lose myself.

I only feel like myself
when I’m almost gone.
I only feel safe
when I’m not asking for more.

I call this heaven,
but I’m crossed.
I don’t lose you.
I lose myself.

Written and performed by The Miracle Syndicate
Brad Astra · Nayeli Astra · Elena Morgenstern
Produced by Brad Astra
Released by Painful Records