First World Problems by Dave Bradley

Little ditty inspired by conversation during our recent Cottenham Coffee Shop jam session for which the theme was "protest". First-world problems, of course, are the trivial complaints we have in the so-called "developed world" that pale into insignificance when compared to those faced by so many in the developing world, what used to be referred to as the "Third World", the Second being the communist bloc, as you know. Of course, lots of people worry that the phrase is not politically correct, ironically, that too, is a first world problem in itself.

First World Problems

There ain't no problem that's too small
For us to gripe and moan and bawl

There ain't a thing we can't complain
We even groan when it don't rain
Sunshine's warm but that's not all

We have the food, we live the life
But little things they bring us strife

The time we have we often waste
We move too fast, less speed more haste
The angst it cuts you like a knife

First world problems - The telly is on the blink
First world problems - There's washing up in the sink
First world problems - This iPad is way too bright
First world problems - This latte ain't quite right, no my latte ain't quite right

These are the ills that give us grief
Moanin' about them brings no relief

These are woes that make us swear
If I wasn't bald I'd pull some hair
The sun's too warm and that's my beef

First world problems - The deli didn't have no sage
First world problems - My downloads take an age
First world problems - This song is not in tune
First world problems - Have to stay in bed till noon
First world problems - Slow broadband makes me scream!
First world problems - Someone ate the last custard cream, someone ate the last custard cream

Words and music by David Bradley
Guitar and vocals DB
Additional lyrics to come courtesy of Jo Livingstone involving a too-warm Pinot Grigio, dodgy TV soap operas and the scurrilous tabloid press...