E - Petition! by The Humdrum Express published on 2017-11-01T21:34:26Z Please note that the filming of tonight’s gig on smart-phones will be ridiculed by the performer… It has been said, more than once, that I’ve got low aspirations… But I’ve just never been interested in an early morning scurry for a train whilst carrying a coffee holder Or being the bloke with a club card on his key ring and a trolley token in his Roy Cropper style wallet Or the man who wears shorts for 10 months of the year and then dons a wetsuit to have a paddle Whenever I’m near the coast, I spend time wondering why you’ll always find someone vacuuming in a seaside arcade Which takes my mind off the perplexing rise of the “half and half” football scarf wearer I guess, in many ways, I’m just a free spirit… and if anyone happens to be in any doubt, I’ve got the Stonehenge solstice selfies to prove it Don’t stop me I’m on a mission Gonna start an e-petition! Welcome to the great streaming debate where those who claim “If I like something, I buy it” appear to be drowning out the musicians hoping to air their 0.003 penneth worth Don’t know about you, but I’ve given up on eating out these days It’s not just the expense, I can’t face being told to “enjoy” as my order’s delivered to the table. I collected a parcel from the sorting office last week and was given the same cringeworthy command. He wasn’t to know it was a home dentistry kit, but that’s exactly my point! To make matters worse, I returned home to find my hurried parking had been photographed and posted on a local busybody’s social media group. Named, shamed, and hung out to dry! Don’t stop me I’m on a mission Gonna start an e-petition! Gonna start an e-petition To stop spam from e-petitions Share your troubles they say… But I’m not ready to reveal details of the time I got run over by a smart car whilst ironically sporting a Kylie and Jason top on Wear Your Old Band T-shirt To Work Day. These are difficult enough times as it is - I sold a guitar on eBay recently No feedback from the buyer, but then it was only an acoustic… Don’t stop me I’m on a mission Gonna start an e-petition Gonna start an e-petition To stop spam from e-petitions Genre Indie
