de / sex (ed) by s.b.h.

This poem appeared in Reservoir Lit, Issue 4. http://reservoirlit.com/haydock

Transcript:

de / sex (ed)

with him you are a bridge in a bathtub     you are exposed genitals     you are plump and suffocated in a free-binned shirt     you are a black towel cut into strips     thank you for the warm tea and bath he says     you are an anus poked twice without consent     you are too afraid to stay and be raped     you are climbing out of the bathtub     you are shuddering on your bed     you will forfeit this transitional housing apartment far too soon     a policeman accosts you at a downtown bus stop     he demands records from the sexual health clinic

on some level i understand the desire to kill yr rapist     smash of concrete against a face     enough times that you eviscerated your parents     i wish you were dead! i hate you! iI want to kill you!     enough temptation to allow my fingers the breathing room of their necks     so many agatha christie mysteries with paint-splattered murders     or heads held down bobbing for apples     the thrill of a quartered and drawn crucifixion     the squeal of flesh coerced against serrated cogs     on some level i. understand this fantasy of closure, anticlimactic     the edge you call psychosis sometimes i want to slip you a machete     i know you would always cower     you call this your salvation