Sams Silly Sausages by Sam 'Brain' Catling published on 2013/05/21 13:42:19 +0000 A reflective account of one particular Friday night. Nother day nother dollar and it’s back to homestead, I’m working on commission so I’ll just sleep when I’m dead. Not a single break taken and no food to keep me going, I can’t wait to get in an make a meal that I can throw in. But I’m a guy who likes his food the very way that he makes it. So I’ll put in the time prepping food to make me stay fit. What’s on the menu tonight? Something meaty with some veg. As soon as it’s in me then it’s straight off up to bed. So it’s on with the grill and in with the Sau-sage, Baked beans grilled onions an extras to make it large, When I’m working in the kitchen house mates know just who’s in charge. They offer me there help and refer to me as Serge. But we all know the saying, too many cooks spoil the broth, So thanks for your help lads but it’s time to fuck off. Alone and in the zone my mind begins to wander, Forgot to crack a window for the smoke that just got stronger. When all of a sudden, the fire alarms begin to ring, Straight out with the tea towel so that the wafting can begin. But hang on a minute these bells just won’t stop. Gotta think about the neighbors and folks who off the clock, The smokes all gone but the madness doesn’t cease, There’s good people around me an there only trying to sleep. A solution is devised, We’ll unscrew the bell casings, A simple idea separating metal spacing’s. And So now what do I do, and what happens next? Guess I’ll go wait out front, and sit down on the steps. Someone’s bound to come along and end the cycle of alarms, An when that time comes I’m gonna hug em in my arms. Along comes security and the fire Brigade, Couldn’t apologize enough for the mistake that I’d just made. I told them my story and they completely understood, One fireman asks me “are the sausages still good”? They had to tell us off for disabling there system, If other fires had started then no-one else could listen. So I took a lesson given an went back to my life, An into the kitchen to finish playing housewife. And so I finish this story with one detail to behold, the meats not even cooked an now its sitting there cold. So I stood there defiant and not about to be beaten, This meal in front of me was about to get eaten. So I turn back on the grill, an span the dial with a fling, Then I grabbed those sausages, an bung em back in.