A fragment from RFCL performing live at Symbiosis Gathering
September 21, 2013
Max Abelev - laptop
Keith Yates - tenor sax, sopranino, clarinet
Lydia Harari - vocals
Etanna Sack - vocals
Juan Carlos Mendizabal aka Kyron - laptop, electronics, mixing, deconstructing
* * *
Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a young woman.
She was very sad because she had been hurt.
To guard against a possible rebellion,
her father had implanted an electronic organ at the base of her spine,
so as to stop her from becoming intelligent.
She became wild, bohemian, impulsive and more than a touch batty.
She didn't realize that her miracle was standing atop someone else's sacrifice.
(At that time, at that place, who was actually there and who was not?)
I told her there was no need to be ashamed, because the memory she possessed was a worthy one.
"I know that you're the same as myself.
Your eyes are like those people who can't help wanting to make memories last forever."
I knew then that only those with beautiful memories are allowed to wish.
And like with most cases of love at first sight,
one cannot describe what exactly just happened.
(Often, feeling something intuitively is no more than a device for committing oneself to it
while signaling that one is not going to provide any further arguments for this course.)
If only those days could last forever, if only I could still be what I was back then.
But eternity doesn't exist in this world, does it?
(There was nothing wrong in principle with metaphysics the way she had practiced it.)
"Now it's my turn to go to you," she said to me.
The dominant influence in her life had been the religious guru G.
"You remind me so much of G. when I loved him.
But he could never be my prince."
G.'s long-winded teachings are hard for me to summarize.
He set before himself the goal of figuring out the basic ontological structure of the universe.
All she could actually do was keep repeating to herself:
“This is good, very good, so very good.”
"No matter where you are, I'll find you for sure."
I left of my own free will.
That sort of sacrifice is what is always demanded.
But she stayed with his corpse for days after his death.
"Wait for me"
One can have an argument that starts out with good premises,
but reaches its conclusions in a way that is logically unwarranted.
And yet the conclusion may work.
(This could refer to some magical ability only she possessed.)
The way before me had been prepared.
I think I had bumped onto it a long time ago.
I had latched onto the rose-colored idea of friendship,
trying to make it last forever.
Anima & animus, brother & sister, princess & prince.
It was all a long, emotional monologue
about how we would both exorcise the ghosts of our childhoods.
Before I left, she said:
"Never lose that strength or nobility, even when you grow up.
I give you this to remember this day."
My life may be just a moment,
but eternity means that this moment lasts billions of billions of years,
I want eternity.
Someday together we will shine.