Welcome to our new theme song / soundtrack with an intense meaning “When my time has come”, this is the analog master, the digital master can be heard:
When Matt send me his first raw idea of this song, I knew immediately that this song had a double meaning for me, as always he allowed me to start building up the song and make arrangements for us to continue, only this time I wanted to do it differently, so I asked him to make a piano and a guitar track with exactly the same feeling within it as his first idea for this piece, and when he send them, I started building around those 2 tracks, for some weird reason his 2 tracks were exactly what I needed to express myself towards all people who supported me and my family so much after I suffered from a stroke 3 weeks ago.
I am slowly recovering, although things have changed dramatically, I wanted to go back making music as soon as possible to get things out of my system, and maybe help and comfort others at the same time.
Why this piece is build up the way it is, and what it means for me:
Part 1: The moment I found myself laying at intensive care, and everything go so slowly around me, and nothing seems to get within me anymore, you’re only connected to the machine to monitor you all the time.
You can’t do the things anymore you wish to do so much, and only resting and relaxing is required.
You try to assure your loved ones that everything is OK now, but they saw the difference on me, which I didn’t realize myself yet, but I didn’t have the power to worry about that at all.
Part 2: After I came home I couldn’t do so many things, I couldn’t sit up long, only walking and laying down was OK for me, plus I moved along so slowly, and couldn’t talk to express myself the way I wanted.
I got scared I wouldn’t be able to make music the way I wanted, so I tried playing around a bit, and asked Matt to send me a completely new piece we were suppose to make for the docu “The Frysk” anyway, I needed to test myself if I was still able to do exactly the same as I could before, or even better.
Part 3: Although I was struggling with my tiredness, and things didn’t want to go as I had it in my head, the moment I put those tracks into my machine, I just listened many times and finally became calm, the song evolved in my head as a symphony, so slowly I inserted track for track like a jigsaw puzzle.
The song became longer, and the more I worked the more emotions came out, which somehow also relaxed me as well, when creating music touches me so deeply, that’s the proof for myself I go the right way.
Part 4: Realising how lucky I was, it obviously wasn’t my time yet, and although the title of this song may apply something different, I am still alive, and it did make me think differently about my life and the things I worried about so much lately, I know I can’t change it, the situation forced me to adjust and go back to my own self and my roots, and because I have to back down now, I also learned have to enjoy and appreciate much more the things I have, and the talents given to me to express myself in music to help others too.
I’ve also learned I can’t take all the problems on my shoulders, and what my own limits are, and exactly that gave me the space within my soul and mind to hear the beauty of Matt’s raw composition, which made me hear a full orchestra play it, now it was my “quest” to create that “Orchestral sound”
Part 5: The final part became an Epic Crescendo, and is the conquering feeling I experienced when the first take of this song took shape, and finally after 3 days work I had conquered my fear, I knew I didn’t loose the touch, and at the same time I could feel the intense power of this piece which was in my head from the start, and being able to get it all out and creating this orchestral sound was like a therapy for me.
Please don’t take me wrong, I know I am not fully cured, and I still have to take medicines for the rest of my life, but I know that the will to fight back, gave me some of the power to do what I love to do most, and for that I am very grateful to my family and friends for their support, patience and believe in me.
It may still takes a lot of time to recover fully, but slowly I get back and getting stronger each day.
For everybody in the world, if this has happened to one of your loved ones or friends too, please be patient with them, allow them to do things in their own pace, that’s the most important thing, we don’t need your pity, treat us the way you’ve always done before, only things will go a bit slower, and although everybody experience this differently, if possible we just need to recover, and that takes time and acceptance.
Allow them to talk out and share their emotions with you, they need your shoulders to cry on, more then your advice, allow them to empty their pain and sorrows first until their strong enough to fight themselves.
In my case, I am lucky that I have creating music as therapy, and great friends like Matt allowing me to work with them on their compositions, and give me total free hand to do with it what I think it needs.
I sincerely hope that many people can find the same comfort and relaxation I got creating it, and listening to this piece does relax me very much too.
I also want to thank everybody for their warm words of support towards me and my family.
Composers: Matt Baker & John Styles
Arrangement: John Styles & Matt Baker
Instruments: Matt Baker & John Styles
Producer: John Styles
We hope you’ll enjoy our song, and we’re sincerely appreciate your comments and support, John and Matt.