You Know Me by Monica Pearce by MonicaPearce

You Know Me by Gwendolyn MacEwen

I promise I will never stop you in the middle
of the street and say: Here I am

I am she who has invaded your dreams
I am she who you secretly adore

I promise I will never identify myself in any obvious way;
I will never embarrass you in public

But you know me, sir, and
you know that I know that you know that I know that you know me

My God, the nights we have spent together
my God, the times we have come together

Each one of us alone,
in the unblind darkness

Beloved.

***
I’ve always been fascinated by Gwendolyn MacEwen’s poetry in its dichotomous combination of steeliness and vulnerability. MacEwen’s poetry illustrates the picture of a woman as the epitome of both strength and fragility. In "You Know Me", I imagine a woman contemplating her lover sleeping, sporadically typing fragments of her feelings, trying to find the right way to reconcile a necessary but painful impending farewell. The various emotional states she visits in the piece are represented by the choir as she pens her words (illustrated by melodic snippets from the piano and violin), while the orchestra personifies the passive, sleeping lover. "You Know Me" (for choir and chamber orchestra) was written in 2012 for the Heliconian Club Orchestra.