date me by MethodJosh

[INTRO]
Ay yo
For some reason
I'm not very lucky with women
So
This is what your life would be like
If you dated me
I'm just letting you know
What you're missing out on

[Chorus]
Ay ladies, you wanna date me?
Don't listen to my friends
Even though they say I'm crazy
It's a bunch of lies
Yeah I got my self certified
Bitch I'm certified excellence

[VERSE 1]
Ladies, my penis is the fucking size of hurricane Katrina
At it's meanest
I could bust a mile away from you
And still create a fetus
It's inception
It's okay to say no
I can handle rejection
I'm a really nice guy
I'm not really keeping count
But 619 times
So you better think twice
Before you say it
That's not a threat
You can bet
That I spend $1000 on therapy
So I'm set
I just need a girl
That I can give all my money to
Insecurity issues
And the answer is cummin' in you
Don't you start runnin' from me
Babe you've got nothing to lose
Bitch I'm your loving caboose
Hang me up right from a noose

[Chorus]
Ay ladies, you wanna date me?
Don't listen to my friends
Even though they say I'm crazy
It's a bunch of lies
Yeah I got my self certified
Bitch I'm certified excellence

[VERSE 2]
Let me dress you up
And stuff you in my dresser
Cause I've got a lot a lot of clothes in there
Sit down on this cozy chair
Baby let me comb your hair
Let me take your car keys
I'll grab them
And you can have them right over there
Now don't you fucking move
Cause I get rabid round women
Like I'm a savage
I'll ravish your ass up
Until the peace is established
I'll feed you cabbage once a week
You'll be happy and with me
You'll be happier with me
I might be crazy
But baby you're a thief
Cause you grabbed my heart and took it
You looked up and straight just booked it away
Fates are intertwined
Fucking bitch I'll make you pay
Look me in the eyes
When I'm screaming at you
Don't look away
This isn't my fault bitch
You're the one with crazy tastes
Don't you call me crazy or baby
I'll leave you hanging
Off the side of a street lamp post
When the birds are all singing
They'll be peckin' out your eyeballs when
Your corpse is fuckin' swinging

[Chorus]
Ay ladies, you wanna date me?
Don't listen to my friends
Even though they say I'm crazy
It's a bunch of lies
Yeah I got my self certified
Bitch I'm certified excellence