Its all about holding onto your dream, in this case, music, when times seem toughest. 'Emotional Playing ......'
Do you ever suffer 'musician's block'? Have you ever felt inadequate? Have you been stuck for ideas, or tried to create and nothing seems to come out? Its a 'war' inside one's own mind. Perfectionism, lack of time, 'I'm not good enough' …. excuses abound …. eventually negative feelings can creep in and override that 'dream', whatever it may be, [in this case music]. Frustration can creep in and 'musician's block' rears its ugly head.
Such thoughts may be reinforced, as one gets out of practice and the skills one gained eventually weaken ….. one feels like they need to start all over again; just as I did, when poor health intervened in my 'journey' and I felt that no progress had been made; that I had to start all over again; the 'fun' had been lost. …………….. My original goal: to enjoy, to escape, to heal, and to feel with music - my outlet- had become a source of frustration. Maybe others can relate to such feelings?
Musicians are often described as quite emotionally sensitive people, whom are able to push out such emotions into, and through their music - and it is these internal feelings that make a difference - it doesn't have to be 'perfect' - it is a journey of story-telling and of transporting ourselves and others away. This was my 'journey' and journeys can be 'rocky roads'.
Musicians are story tellers with music, and not just with words - and it doesn't need to be 'perfect', creativity can never be 'perfect'.
- we feel and inject pain, anger, sadness, happiness, and beauty, we reveal the emotions into the world of sound, transporting ourselves and other people into this 'world', often transcending what is 'technically correct' - yes, technique is important too, but we try to bring it from the heart as well.
Music is my outlet. Yours too?
Whatever one's goal is; whether its for fun or to become famous (ummmm, lol), or to feel lost and escape the world of 'reality' for awhile… it is your dream, as long as it is a passion and it remains fun
Some dear friends on SoundCloud encouraged me to keep going and I also watched some great videos about 'emotional playing' and learning how to relax into one's music without being overly self-critical. What also inspired me, in knowing that I would never become a 'concert great' :-), ... was that some great composers who achieve such passion and connect through 'emotional playing', are also famous for bad technique and playing wrong notes :-)
So - This is my renewed attempts - its a - Megs 'starting' again piece, a WIP [work in progress] and it brought me great comfort to know that I could once again, sit down at the piano and play at least; to rediscover the energy and satisfaction. To learn to be kinder on myself, to be patient and to know that we don't have to be 'perfect' in creativity
- and most importantly to have fun in doing so! :-)
NOTE: This piece will also be worked on further and transformed into an orchestrated version with John Styles and Matt Baker, please stay tuned ….
Composer: Megan McCarthy
Solo Piano: Megan McCarthy
Mastered by: John Styles (OneVision CrossWorlds)