The Legislature passed a law abolishing all laws. The baffled populace found itself divided into two camps, the Literalists, who interpreted the new law to mandate total lawlessness, and the Expansionists, who viewed its paradoxical terms as a model for investigating a variety of political, philosophical and other concerns, beginning with a desire not to desire, a promise never to make promises, and an attempt never to try. There was also, as there is in every society, a criminal element, in this instance made up of those who defied the new law by adhering to the old ones.
Plans for the first Brutalist nursery school have been approved following an exhaustive search for the architect most in touch with these times. The winning architect, whose design was selected from well over 10,000 submissions, explained that it is intended to evoke a toppled pile of charred toy blocks. It is hoped that such nursery schools, of which this is only the first, will prove instrumental in the development of the loyal, patriotic citizens necessary to ensure the continued health of our nation.
Following the announcement by NASA officials that outer space has been reclassified as a suburb of Earth, agency scientists have determined that the stars are not composed of dust and various gases, as was previously believed, but are instead distant television sets, each one broadcasting beloved shows such as Lassie, Little House on the Prairie and The Twilight Zone. Because the so-called multiverse theory remains unproven, physicists suspect but have not yet confirmed that these shows feature an infinite number of beginnings, middles and endings. They do acknowledge, however, that the stars are as distant and unreachable as those cozy nights spent watching TV with our parents, who were then so young, beautiful and strong.
Pop singer Morrissey, long known as an ardent animal rights advocate, has sued a Morrissey impersonator who has appeared in a series of dairy commercials featuring the slogan, and I quote, “There is a butter world. Well, there must be.”