There, at the desk among the white light, empty glasses, bottles and bags, a greasy palm held a face. Unable to think, I cracked open another. My creative desires finally boiled over after days of simmering, but still, i was just blowing steam. There could be something down there, I wasn’t sure yet. There was a lot of bullshit floating around but i hadn’t been determined enough lately to sort through it all.
I meandered about through the mindscape muck, half-bored, haphazardly hoping to stumble across something memorable, something worthwhile, something worth something. I didn’t care.
I was tired of work, unmotivated by their departmental/store/regional/national/global goals. I didn’t care for their dollar signs and percentage points. Even writing about this, i am bored, and I haven’t really even said anything. The hardwork and lack of recognition, as always, seemed to be piling up. You always think you work harder than you do. So I suppose I tried as much as a needed to, which wasn’t very much. I like to work hard, but like to care, even less.
I had to re-dedicate myself. I woke up on Laurel Canyon Boulevard. It was 10:32pm and I had never been here before, so i was in a great mood. Unfamiliar surroundings are something i really tend to enjoy, I think. Especially when they’re beautiful. I use the term “beautiful” loosely.
I think i was driving, but it felt like a dream. Not my own this time, someone elses that i just happened to be floating through. We glided through the night, it wasn’t hot anymore, and neil young sang to me. Even though my problems are meaningless, that don’t make them go away. i had gotten out of town, but they’d be waiting. I didn’t see any other cars. I sped up, chasing down something i thought i saw.