Jason “Nine and A Half” Groves was born deep in the earth's core sometime in the late thirties.
The 1830's. His parents are widely believed to have been Gandalf and the Balrog, though details about his conception are hazy and widely considered to be debatable. His moniker, “Nine and A Half” refers not to his genitalia as most seem to assume, but instead to a missing joint on his left index finger. Of course, after a time, it grew back. Which probably explains the confusion.
Chad “Crazy Legs” Gravitt gained his nickname when, as a child, his legs actually went crazy and killed fourteen people in a Fort Worth Walmart parking lot. I'm surprised you haven't heard about it. It was in the news and everything. His origins are hazy, some suggest that he was belched forth from the darkness between the stars, while others make the outlandish claim that two humans squished their bits together. I think we all know which is true. Wink wink.
Josh “Mother Puncher” Flowers is wanted in four states for a bevy of offenses, none of which – surprisingly – include punching anyone's mother. Born with seventeen fingers on each hand (but webbed toes. Karma's a bitch.) Josh took up the only occupation that could put his unique physiology to work. After his attempt at pornography played itself out he picked up the guitar and discovered that he could play pretty well. He's been making other guitarists jealous ever since.
Bryan “Golden Pipes” Himes is actually a clone of the original Bryan Himes. The cycle of murder, rebirth, and revenge began sometime in the early 1990's when a researcher in Silicon Valley named Harold Meeks attempted to create the perfect singer, combining DNA from Etta James, Morgan Freeman, and other notable vocal greats. Unfortunately, this experiment backfired and created a murderous being set upon tearing down the pillars upon which our society balances. To fight this villain Meeks created another, and then another Himes in the hopes that he could reverse his mistake. It has been almost three decades and there is no end sight to the madness.
Alex “Is Writing This Bio” Head was born to a poor peanut farmer. He would later grow up to be the president of the United States, bringing to the country a new era of peace, tolerance, and prosperity. Unfortunately, a multidimensional assassin threw him into a space/time vortex and he was deposited in our world. His interests include the show Sliders, cats, and Japanese food. He hopes to one day return home, but the technology of our universe and our physical laws make this a difficult – perhaps impossible – task.
FLORABURN has absolutely nothing to do with the time-traveling, name-thief turned pirate Flora Burn. When they aren't making rock n'roll music they're usually talking about Chad's hygene habits or Alex's amazing tambourine playing. FLORABURN likes long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners, and beer.