50 Billion (Bludgeoned Lives) by EsteyOrganCo published on 2014/01/10 03:08:16 +0000 50 Billion (Bludgeoned Lives) 50 billion bludgeoned lives lay within my sleep; Startle awake, sticky with blood of goats, bovine and sheep. I feel my guts come spilling out of my evening coat. Burning of cold metal against my gurgling throat. I try to find my way upright but there’s terror in my eyes. Briny water floods my lungs; the Cormo does capsize. I try to rationalise this pain; what the hell did I do wrong? To suffer human beings, neither the fittest or that strong. They strip my baby away from me every night when I dream They eat his baby flesh and they suck away my cream. Or my baby grows so fat for a family so devout They tie her, stab her in the neck; on the street she bleeds out. It’s then I wake up crying. I fumble for that door. 50 billion bludgeoned lives make part of me no more. I lay back down in the sickly light thankful I was born free. But how thankful could I be of this flesh without its humanity? I’m feeling safe in my white flesh clothes. My life is yet assailed, I’m not quivering on my way to Kuwait, Pakistan, Qatar or Israel. Indonesia and Turkey barely sharpen their knives and my neighbours are all loading their guns. They’re spraying holes through our emblem, teaching blood lust to our daughters and sons. So for the 50 billion bludgeoned lives off the coast or on our shore, 50 billion bludgeoned lives make part of me no more.