This will probably end up as bonus track or something awesome.
Squish squish squish
Life as a student, it's grand
Whisper – In, In, In, In, In
We’re throwing back 40’s of coffee, yo!
(Let’s get caffeinated!)
…and drop some names like they’re hot.
My Alberta student loan
Couldn’t pay the rent
(No it couldn’t!)
So I had to go to school
In a pickup camper tent
(Cummins B Series!)
Bylaw came by writing a short essay
(2000 words or less!)
On a ticket pad of dusty dreams
But I put up a fight
(call my lawyer!)
(Bo Cairo) Life as a student, it’s grand
(You’re an asshooooo)
(Bruce Ingram) I’d like to find some
Somewhat level ground (Somewhat!)
Security unplugged me from tuition funds (110V/60hz)
Garda cued up singing about this student squatting owl (Who?)
Sammy Jetroy Watterworth couldn’t take a joke.
His lifelong girlfriend wouldn’t know one
If it splashed up on her face. (Squish.)
(Squish squish squish)
Life as a student is grand (squish squish)
(Squish squish squish)
I’d like to find some
Mediocore level ground (Owen Strasky)
Nick Lang got a kicked wang
From The Comic Strip (W.E.M.)
They wouldn’t let me film it,
But they ripped us all the same (Joseph Louis Nadeau)
Forgetting all your homework
Doesn’t pay the bills (Édrihan Émmanuel Lévèsque)
Our new textbooks are outdated
But still we pay the troll
(Ken Butler, Sir)
Seriously it sucks that meth had you go to prison
I got a crush on (Tosheena Thompson)!
Live Sound class time wasted on your dead archeology career
(Emma Jane Julian)
If you wish success you must first sell your soul (Andrea Bradley)
Sponsorships and partner whips from collars scrounging coal (Eric Gerstenbuhler)
The locals came by thinking they would sell me some crack (Smart Music)
They asked me if I party but I smoked it all myself (4 inch pipe)
(Brandon Kelm) I’d like it if they gave me that 5 grand...
and a glass pipe.
(Bruce Ingram) pop a capacitor in your ass.
I need more hookers and blow if I’m gonna make live sounds
(Maybe a transistor?)
Heather Macleod seemed like a bull dyke english substitute (That itch)
That hadn’t gotten laid in a long time
Bad grammar, contradictions in email, discriminative bullying abound (That witch)
(Zoe Lusky) I get the impressionyou think I’m a scampion but I’m just nerdy and really weird and drink too much coffee (ZOE LUSKY!)
(Tall thin geek girl our class / SKINNY GEEK GIRL IN OUR CLASS!)
I can’t remember your name but you should call me I thought you were pretty/hot (and not just because you’re tall and skinny)
Macewan University Residence was OK in Edmonton
Until the spring term came with my new student loan on the day
Still couldn’t afford their cheapest suite or a dame,
Two month’s notice is never necessary
When they’re not governed by the landlord tenant act pray
Because Universities are lame
And frac over their students, all the fame
The $1200 privileged of leaving the same
Me refusing to play the game,
Pay the racket or be more tame,
Frac my creditorial blame.
Appeal refused and their policy named,
Get back to work they say,
We need your payment today.
Could they be more like (Boardwalk)
And less like “Reading Railroad” stock.
(John Harris Institute in Toronto, Ontario)
I guess I’ll play their dirty game to get it on
Jim Fowler the housing co-ordinator (at Macewan Residence)
I’ll blackmail you with the lyrics to this song
She thinks that I’m a racist because I laugh at shit
Vikings had no helmets and sense of humour aside
(Sylvia Douglas and your boyfriend, you guys need to chill out and smoke some dill.. and… and.... get a… sense of humour!)
So I had to tell you people, please go eat that shit and die.
(Brittany Ayotte, Jessica J’albert, Jenna Lee Carton, Kellie Christie, Lindsay Crowe, Alix Osinchuk....) F*CK!
They’re not even in our class, Yo’!
F*CK – *SMACK/Spider squish*
F*CKING SPIDER WAS CRAWLING ON MY ARM!
(Erin Stark / Meggan Legare / Talia Davies)
I need to drink more coffee.
(Vicki Perreault / Cynthia Mercredi)
I’m thirsty, I need more coffee.
Droppin’ more names than Superhead
I need some slaves to get me some coffee.
(Addison Quin) “Where’s my gopher?”
(Brandon "B" Dolinski)
“Hey gopher boy, c’mere!”
(Nathaniel "Nasano" Orleski)
I was gonna take him out, but uh… *cough* ‘cause he un-friended me, but, you know, bros before ho’s, right? Ya know, like “duh.”
(Nathan Lunde-Berry / Wade, Ben, Nick & Matt Larsen / George Brons / Abe Bolton / Mark Rodgers / Matt Meeker / Liam Trimble / Rene Wilson / Mitch Holtby / Brian, Mark, Stan, Bruce, Eric, Danny Christensen & Ian McCalder / Lain Hacienda a.k.a. Brittany Vaugeois a.k.a. Nifties / Starra Matthews / Jenn "Jazz Hands" Smith / Nikki Fast / Douglas P. Innes)
(Your immediate family member / a.k.a. "your mom")