Bad Scientist by Dan Amrich

2009: Good intentions. Bad inventions.
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Featuring Jude Kelley on organ
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Well first you need to know that I had no intent to kill
I'm just a poor inventor developing my skills
Murphy was an optimist before he went downhill
When you're here in Hero Falls, if it can go wrong, it will

I like to dream up gadgets that I think can be of use
My science is compliant with whatever plan you choose
I've always been inspired by the heroes on the news
I want to help them win but I always seem to lose

I'm no mad scientist, just a bad scientist
Everyone one of my inventions was created to assist
People question my intentions and they still seem unconvinced
I'm not mad
It's just sad
That I'm bad

I came up with a stun grenade to help out Lucky Ace
I put it in a pretty case and left it at his place
I figured he could use it to stop robbers in a chase
But I guess he wasn't lucky when it blew up in his face

The portal gun, that shoulda worked, as far as I can tell
You zap a villain where they stand and send them to a cell
The prison guards described it as a doorway into hell
The body parts were scrambled and they can't forget the smell

I'm no mad scientist, just a bad scientist
Usually the problem is a decimal point I've missed
I'm sorry that I made your friend explode into a mist
I'm not mad
It's just sad
Look

The goal of my constructions is to help, let me be clear
Sometimes they do malfunction, just like any other gear
But somehow the destruction has defined my short career
If you don't read the instructions don't just blame the engineer

To harness quantum energy is practically an art
When magic turns out tragic it takes courage to restart
I almost packed it in after the freeze ray fell apart
And my taser fried Epitome and barbecued her heart

The laser net and grapple gun were failures in the end
But Skull & Bones survived and now I hear they're on the mend
I know it all looks terrible, I'm on a downward trend
But I've gotta keep on trying or I'll never make amends

I'm no mad scientist, just a bad scientist
I set my sights on greatness but so far I've kinda missed
The accidental murder is why people are so pissed
I'm not mad
It's just sad
That I'm bad