I keep trying to do the right things to keep my head on straight
But the cycle is endless, making mistake after mistake
It's my own damn fault but I wish some things didn't happen,
Readin' the rules of life like they're written in latin.
It's hard to keep supporting someone who keeps messing up
And I'd agree with that, I've got a half empty cup
It's hard trying to learn all these things on my own
When all I wanna do is give up and get stoned
I'm almost 20 now, and still act like a child,
I just need to grow up and quit tryin to be wild.
I have to accept that it's time to act older,
Or I won't get to ignite like a fire that just smolders
I know that I'm meant for much bigger and better things
But I struggle to take off like they've clipped off my wings
They say that adversity can only make a man stronger
I've had so much of it that I can take it no longer
Been knocked down enough that I'm close with the dirt
Trying by myself is like Ernie without Bert
But I'm starting to realize that I have to do this myself,
Turn down all the crazy so I can put it on a shelf.
Nothing is really ever as easy as it sounds
Need to accept that, keep my feet on the ground
There's only one way I'll ever make up for my errors
That's to make things I like from being fun into terrors
Renounce the way I'm living, cos it just ain't working
Prey on what I'm meant for, no more time for lurking
The time for play is over, seriousness starts now
Its time to try so hard that I get sweat on my brow.
Never really known what its like to work hard
To work all day, punch in and out your card
Only held two jobs, but they both barely lasted,
And those paychecks dissolved like I sprayed them with acid
Even when I wasn't working and all I had was school,
Didn't have my mind focused, cos "school wasn't cool"
But now looking back I wish that I had stayed committed,
Woulda been nice, if my crimes had been acquitted
There are things you can't change, goes especially for me,
And most of what happens, you just can't forsee
Now that its happened, it's about time I changed,
Cos the way that I'm living, starting to become deranged.
A few years from now I know it'll all be different,
My life will be fresh and I ain't talking spearmint.
And then I'll look back at the boy that I used to be,
I'll be a man, no problems, and then I'll be free.
All original lyrics by Nick Angyal. Beat produced by Canis Major