(04/05 - Mount Pheasant I) - "Ah Jesus! I couldn’t help it! She was dripping on me carpet, bouncin’ around, trying to grab a picture off the wall and the towel just fell off her!! And there she was… like something off Pornhub; Pert and pretty, I had to touch her! But I was breakin’ the rules! No! I ran and ran, into the street, down the road, towards the town square."
"I was right! No one would know. Know what? That I was about to shit myself! Those first set of animal pheromone pills were about to exit fast. I needed relief! Thank god that newly installed mechanical toilet box in the square was ready to take my money!! Open up ya whore ya! Rachel is comin’! She’s comin’!"
"Sorry Rachel, you were within a nipple’s length of getting sorely abused in the malfunctioning steel Exeloo toilet box in the square. I just ran! She chased me down towards the Mount Eidel memorial park where the Community Games were about to start! I saw a car, a big car, I had to hide from her! She was manic!"
"Lionel was trying to rape me! What the fuck was going on? How was I supposed to know the book I’d stolen from the library was an iconic gay novel? How’d I know he’d think me running away from young Rachel was a sign he could try and mount me? But as soon as those electric seats started to go down, that’s what he was intent on doing! I had to get out! Help! Help!"
"I ran as fast as me shaken stumps would take me. Snot flew all over my face as I fled into the crowds gathered for the opening ceremony of the Mount Eidel community games. It was a beautiful Summer’s day. Everyone was there; Ponkin was up close beside the posh Egritte Manbender woman. Broadleaf O’Hara was with Niklas Von Falconhorst toasting their sponsorship of the event and gardener Tom Kendall was hurriedly making finishing touches to the floral display. Then Hubert Stelfark took the microphone and mounted the podium."
"I didn’t need this! Shlioler would kill me! What if she saw Rachel? But never mind that! Lionel Penton was running into the park after me. They were all after me! This was sick! I was sick! I lunged with all my energy towards the trees as the first children’s running event was about to start. No-one would find me in the thick of the bushes. Cottle too, he was on the run as well, seems his interview with Seawee Magee on fishing quota was twisted by Tom Shergar on the radio that day and Seawee was seeking out Cottle with a baseball bat but ever the professional Cottle would still cover the games."
"Good old Tom Kendall, he’d hang you out to dry the two-faced fucker. You can see he likes to watch; with his baggy eyes focused on Rachel. Her there scuttling along in her high black heels and disgustingly perfect buttocks. She was intent on hunting me down. I was like an escaped convict as I lept into the oncoming bushes."
"I told youse. A bet was a bet! And I pulled meself free from Shlioler’s toothless mouth. Tom Kendall was my witness! She barely sucked on it for a second! You tell them Tom! You know what I did next! I had no choice! Lionel was huntin’, Rachel was chasin’, Shlioler was achin’! And I was wasting! So I summoned the last drop of momentum I could, I burst through the bushes and launched down the grass bank and onto the running track, just as the starter pistol for the Girls-under-14 Relay race shot into the sky..."
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