(01/05 - Mount Pheasant II - Shameless) Mount Pheasant returns. In this second outing; the unemployable Richard Pheasant still roams the Mount Eidel streets looking for something to do. And he is still sick. But just how sick?
At the nearby Falconhorst Chemical, run by Niklas Van Falconhorst, he and right-hand-man Broadleaf O’Hara are conspiring to get rid of a warehouse of Iodine. Local courier Shameless Hagan is to despatch a visit to local councillor Egritte Manbender, much to the shock of her boyfriend Ponkin Bourke.
Meanwhile Cottle Fardell of Eidel Radio needs to find a scoop or he’s fired. Both he and Ponkin sit in Dessie’s ‘Monday Club’ pub, telling Richard that he’s a very brave man. Not to worry, Richard will find a job soon. And that is where Niklas comes back in and takes it all downhill from there.
Join Dick, Ponkin and Cottle on another strange aural adventure from Amplevoicepod. Mount Pheasant II.
Lionel: Oh Richard Pheasant.
Dick: What? Are yis not comfortable?
Lionel: No it’s not-
Dick: Can I do anything?
Lionel: Oh Richard, no, just, just let me look at you.
Dick: Why? What’s on me face?
Lionel: Only the look of a loyal man this last year Richard.
Dick: Ah stop it now. Call me Dick. Anyway, where else would I have got a job? You don’t want any of these Cadbury’s Milk Tray no?
Lionel: It was so difficult to get you into Fiddan & Gowle Dick. Even with, what was it? ‘40,000-a-year with commission’ and eh-
Dick: ‘Food tickets and gym membership’! How could I forget you chasin’ me! Took the first, never wanted the second. Sold it to Cottle so I did.
Lionel: Ah yes. Your radio friend Cottle. My, you took some convincing to accept.
Dick: Yeah, you’re right I did. Me a call centre manager! I’d know more about all these wires hangin’ out of ya… But, sure (smiles) I thought of the food tickets.
Flashback: “I can see myself in you, Dick…”, “The job is yours Dick, just take it in your mouth, look! I’m like a rock for you… think of the benefits! Think of the food tickets!”.
Lionel: Oh, I’ve made some mistakes in my life.
Dick: Only last week you were jumpin’ fences. Now look at ya! More tubes here than London underground. Lost a hape of stone ya have.
Lionel: Just, well, let’s just say it was the 80s. And it was glorious.
Dick: The 80s? Radio GAGA! Radio GOOGOO! Heh. I know Ponkin still lives there in the ‘80s with his denim patches and love of Saxon. But all I remember was lads fightin’ in black slip-on shoes down the Maetin’s.
Lionel: Ha, no, I mean-
Dick: Don’t get me wrong. I do like the metal. Grew up on it. Bate the neck to it all, but it’s like, and I tell Ponkin this every time: cut the fuckin’ hair! All things have to die, yunno?
Lionel: Haha! Oh, (cough).. you are funny.
Dick: Are ya sure you don’t want any Milk Tray? They’re yours.
Lionel: Listen Dick, it won’t be long so, I need to tell you something.
Dick: Wha? There’s at least an hour of visitin’ time left!
Lionel: This day was coming a long time. I settled my affairs in advance. No lose ends. This means that when I, eh, bid farewell… eh, Fiddan & Gowle and the call centre will be, (cough), like me, no more.
Dick: Hah? Whaddaya mean ‘no more’ Lionel? Like, you’d shut down the call centre. In Mount Eidel? In the town?
Lionel: Receivers are coming, there’ll be redundancy of course but- cough, oh- ugh-
Dick: Yis are, just closin’ the business? Where ya goin’? You’re not, I mean, this isn’t… Here, you’re not sick are ya?
Lionel: Oh ji-huuu-
Dick: Lionel? Lionel?! Nurse! Fuck! Wake, wake up Lionel! Lionel! Stay with us Lionel!
Nurse: (runs in) Step away from the patient. Multiple organ failure, cardiac arrest.
Dick: Fuck ya Lionel! What about the fuckin’-
Nurse: I said OUT!
Dick: Ah jesus, what ya standing around doing nothing for! Pump his chest! Stick a tube in! Do something!
Lordy! What will happen? Listen on... Another enthralling strange story from Amplevoicepod. We do podcasting right.