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.. A stankelbein is a Norwegian cranefly (also known as a harvestman or daddy long legs in the UK.) Due to their awkward anatomy, manifested through an elongated body and six disproportionately long legs, they have gained a reputation of being somewhat inept fliers. Because of this they are often prone to harassment, devourment or other forms of personal distress by predatory birds. .. .. Once on a lovely summer day when I was on a date with a beautiful girl in Yorkshire, a pigeon shat on my head. Another time, a pigeon rammed its beak into my skull at Leeds city market. I have noticed several times they have given me uncomfortable looks, followed me, or even attempted to attack me. I believe they are the root of all evil and are conducting a cruel global experiment that is making all humans afraid of each other. .. ..