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"My BrainStorm" written and read by Sonya Rose

sonyarose on August 19, 2013 23:30

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    My pen rose and I expressed fascinations
    Trying to forget these frustrations
    Irresponsible gossip let me be-
    I spend considerable time and energy
    Trying to resolve problems with the insight
    Of a mathematician linking black-and-white
    Genius and spirituality-

    Mathematically, I am ugly;
    Yet my intuitive sense is searching for me
    To inspire to be
    Something fortunately-
    I have experienced it; what does occur
    The conviction of a final answer-
    My sense: There’s no doomsday
    Just doomsdays’, I feel this way

    I met Mozart once in my dream, behind-
    A large piece of music in the Mastermind
    One idea, exciting, I thought
    His soul was on fire with high winds; he taught
    The complete order of inspiration
    Telecommunication; I’m not alone in my vocation
    His work grows,
    And no one quite knows
    How long an entire composition
    Is finished in someone’s mind; my ambition
    Begins before the musical prelude today
    A feeling I downplay

    In the morning, I glanced at a beautiful man
    I missed the obvious; someone stole my superman
    So, I listen to Beethoven’s music; mystical
    He couldn’t...yet, my soul
    Hears and he knows
    The musical scores and sounds in his head, goes
    No where; always in his head transcendent
    Of human suffering and I am touched, underwent
    Another miracle
    Making it through the night, while I suffer ridicule

    Einstein, Newton, Copernicus, and Ludwig
    Still surviving, unimaginable; and a theatrical gig
    At 12,000 feet, I am forming in a visionary sense
    I am struggling to breathe, another day tense
    Their expression is unfamiliar; the lists
    Of musicians, poets, painters, scholars, scientists,
    And creative people, who will terrify...
    Why they do it...I don’t know why
    It’s intense; politics
    And I come off the mountain, the quick fix

    My mother says that I am the lower elite; still
    The upper elite are twice as likely to get ill
    Unpin the cap to womankind
    Intentionally stirring-up intense emotions, I’m refined
    To inspire themselves in their creations
    My emotional hardship of my life, underestimations
    I hide too much pride
    Yet you offer your humble inspiration; I hide
    Escape with you in real misery,
    Our creative city

    A mystery, unresolved these experiences; quite
    The painful reality of an unhappy family, one more fight
    Why are we at risk...? Uncanny, not
    Simply talented alone; forget it brother, it’s a long shot...
    Is your heart truly imaginative, innovative....?
    Our life is secret, did you know...discriminative-
    I encourage you to reenlist
    You’re in need of more experience; there’s a checklist
    Why are still in your nightclothes-
    Sitting on your window-sill...thinking of that single rose
    Expressing disappointment; you rushed someone’s time
    On earth, sent a letter of the dead and wounded your crime

    Who is reaching out to the families of the dead?
    Rapid thinking, a flood of my head
    Can we enjoy angelic visions anymore?
    Of those who hallucinate...who wants more?
    Afflicted with the marvelous capacity of the brain
    I’m curious about such an evanescent I insane?
    Does your mom wear Army boots?
    I am painfully aware of the camp and my roots...

    How many thousands were, are sent?
    There are no guarantees in visiting and paying rent
    The site of this historic event
    This is effecting...the confident...
    The entire world deeply...
    May feel off-key....

    Paperwork into the deep trough of time
    The remnants of a former battleground; don’t waste a dime
    They are fit to fight and we should save....
    I appreciate the soldiers; how many more to send to the...let’s brave
    Who hopes, proceed with a feeling of communion, say
    That unforgettable way
    The intensity of their difference; yet we are left pondering
    The impoverished human potentiality is a walkway
    It doesn’t have to be this way
    If we could control
    Target the greedy, help today’s death toll;
    But, someone will argue with me
    My special ability to see
    For life uninterrupted, we do nothing...
    Another Saturday in blizzard conditions, let’s watch something...

    Do we have to prove that a person has wit?
    Has to create a masterpiece to proof it?
    A rare gift, maybe; but, the artist struggles, exhausted
    Confused, and useless to those lying in a warm bed
    How about those dedicated souls in turmoil? Why not bother...
    Their crying for their mother or father
    Lover to save them....every second, I’m crushed
    Both my creative and the depressive halves..."mushed"
    I am uncertain...sliding down hill some more....
    Ten thousand tons of snow...what for...
    The snow has to go somewhere...what I snow-blind
    How you handle an avalanche...falling into your...rewind
    While you are in your shorts coming undone
    Sweating in the hot sun

    It is the warmest year on record; who out there is a loner?
    Things are changing; whose physical vulnerability...who’s a goner
    What is your drive...your personals...? My hunger is curbed...
    So many are emotionally disturbed
    No matter who is doing what...? Whatever income
    Do we have the courage to overcome?
    Our childhood programming...
    The way the brain functions...slamming-
    Are we going to crash into hell....?
    Some things take time...well,
    Jesus is a hard act to follow....
    My parents have not quite made it; I swallow
    Their struggling, discouraged, I weave
    My failure to achieve
    My maximum ability...two by two

    There are things you can do...
    To save your lives I suppose...why fail....
    It takes a matter of days to unveil
    A new established order...steer clear of war
    And move our country forward...The eagle is sore...
    I cannot repress the politically dangerous ideas
    Their contaminating the (we)
    An artistic idealism - chart
    The direction, alternative plans have a heart
    In the arts and sciences, a star system of stability
    ...too many cooks, respectability
    Are spoiling the broth for half a century....
    For the soup of change...too many authorities agree
    We’re causing confusion....for the sake of change...gone.
    Explain....the shock, fear...barely enough to live on...
    Simple dreams are not coming true...
    The world wants a grow up...we’re in the blue

    God-willing....the minds of intelligent and creative people
    Convince the chosen to stop-ringing the bell in the steeple
    Close our eyes to the reign of Zion-
    To the rescue...defines our reality about the symbol of a Lion.
    Who is sane, who is not...reigning
    Can you survive...are you just maintaining-
    You writers, musicians, artists, composers, actors,
    Directors, and are the smart factors
    The instability of my poetry, soon...
    Just a few miles down the road...I resume
    My poem will someday end...
    And all the wisdom I required, I’ll send...

    I am aware of the eagles flying higher...
    Of the highest mountain burning in me...the western wire
    So many sides of us...the different sides of Einstein, a freeman
    Sorrow still reigns after the mushroom cloud over Japan
    Enormous pressure, nervous breakdowns, in creating the color-blind...
    What degrees are humankind; I’m snow-blind
    None, mild, marked, or a win
    Do you know Heisenberg, Fermi, Plank, and Edison
    Darwin, Pasteur, Rutherford, Bell
    Neils Bohr, Boltzmann, Mendel, Michelson, swell...
    Strange-love indeed...still threatens us
    With the apocalypse...what’s all the fuss?
    And my friend, the mathematician is mentally high
    Unstable...but, I’d rather hang out with my
    Creative friend who has no threat
    To what he’s in debt.

    And, I asked Herman Melville, what's the big deal about Mars
    And Moby Dick...HM went away, locked behind window bars
    -until he could finish the end...
    I can’t possibly measure up...I am tormented, friend
    The issues of madness, genius, politics, do in fact overlap....
    Don’t they....Churchill, De Gaulle, Lloyd George, Mussolini, and Stalin, nap
    Hitler, Bismark, Disraeli, Lincoln, and Woodrow Wilson...the rumbling
    Ezra Pound was defeated.....brilliant...yet crumbling...
    Through the door, I don’t know...I hear the crying....our fate
    Around my country...we somewhat try to be straight...
    The power struggle with suitcases in our hands....
    We walk in this brutal world...having the courage to travel to faraway lands
    To see the world the way it actually is....
    I don’t know...I’m no whiz

    We’re nervous...who is calling out our names....the Men-In-White?
    The Men-In-Black...? If you see adventure, fly like the wind, like a kite
    Another mountain to my head, I know....
    The necessities...Take a shot.....taking risks, some how low
    Departing from reality is one thing....
    We really are all tired of something....
    Amen...We all lost sometime....
    Having second thoughts all the time
    What does your beautiful mind see...firepower in the raw-
    Under the gun of John Nash...I can’t see anything, never saw...

    Let’s take it easy-thinking I am through understanding; yet have the key
    The incomprehensible paradoxes of yesterday’s tyranny
    So what kind of music....can we promise to plainlessly-
    Dissolve the ‘ice people’ tomorrow...are we...
    I see the destiny of nations in the hands of the insane...doesn’t it seem
    The progress of friend who is bi-polar extreme
    Was inflicted by that mentally unstable scientific genius
    Who damaged man and the environment....all riding in a bus...?
    Opens the universe to human exploration....takes the chance
    Can you hold opposites in balance...?
    Focus...should be no separation
    Into the depths of a future, our own creation
    We are not the fortunate ones: let’s just have fun...
    Someone is prying a beautiful girl out of her sun...
    That’s not what she really wants...
    The scientist willingness to test her ideas, hunts
    The greatness from colleagues...not a lunatic....
    Protects his creative exploration, grabs a chair to watch her flick
    Is there a boundary to separate genius? Do I know the trick...?
    A line away from madness, science from magic
    Lady Love never smiles at Dr. Strangelove, a sad tone
    So how can he break the spell...he realizes she’s all alone
    Is anyone out there, he shouts....he’s got to know...
    Newton was a magician; modest...he always has a foe

    Close my eye...Is there a romantic image for me...?
    The heroic rebel who may not have denied God; look-see
    He’s fooling me, all-together...
    Without uttering the name, not ever
    We are loosing the vision all together....
    If you really care...the knight of faith....whether-
    I tread on holy ground, don’t desecrate it.
    Sacred Earth....Orphan of the Universe who’s been hit.

    Now, I’m in a lounge, forgetting my neck pain....
    Observing everywhere...where love walks in vain
    Shoveling dirt, adopting organic culture....malnutrition
    Let’s go to the supermarket...important transition.
    Glad I take an interest in biology and medicine-the pain
    Your secret lies outside the brain...
    Did you know...don’t believe everything you read-
    Lay off the caffeine...these pills and drugs, slowly feed...
    Killing people I many different sizes and colors, a clan
    What makes a man hate another man...?
    Help me understand; Ecstasy is not leading me to paradise...
    So far brainstorming has two meanings; my fingers are a twitching devise
    I have a bright idea! Call this poem Jumble Me!
    I can’t dream it, will all fit together...ABC’s in the DVD
    Let me drift off to trace, no race, and no face
    I’m walking and sleeping...The Whiteface
    A sudden jerk...I can’t face the night...
    I’m in tears; I have to break apart from the suffering...right?

    I don’t know what I am going to do about this feeling inside...
    I’m without your love...suffering, in my bed, I hide

    I never heard the voice of Christ; but, he is the reason why...
    Where’s that area in the brain with mystical experiences? The eternal high-
    Can’t help but think of sexual fantasies...still, reading poetry
    Designed to evoke my feelings...not ESP
    Money now on my mind...

    My mother warned me of untold dangers...I grind
    The danger of creativity...The Little Prince’s flower
    Broke me down...only for an hour
    Don’t mess around...the wound and the bow
    Let’s embrace if it’s o.k. with
    Let’s rise up...have, hot, hot...
    Learn the fear, the change less...our age, spot-
    Troubled minds take their
    Dressed-up in my own skin...
    No escaping....why some are so pushy, mothers
    Attack all others.....

    Oh, this new world order...we are aliens in our own lands
    I’m crossed-out, worn symbols...shaking dirty hands
    My world is now camouflaged....I want to fly-
    Not come down....I have fire in my wings, prettify
    Reason-to-believe that they’ll do it steps-by-steps
    Operating deep within, guiding our evolutionary foot-steps...
    This is urgent...They’re playing tricks on our minds...
    We are evolving...waiting in lines
    The seal of the creative...human touch of madness
    Obsessive quality....unique, sadness

    No thought of oblivion....mad in love with art...Fate
    My heart is in my head....
    So powerful....How are you feeling? There’s ringing...never wed
    Who can we believe in....Who I should call now...? Leave-
    The stars are still shining...I saw a star shoot on Christmas Eve
    And I can’t see any reason...if someone drops and I submerge, my kite
    Thinking in quantum burst of soul’s alright...
    Listening to the haunting melody...the one I know by heart (sweat)
    Can’t let I dreaming? I can’t believe; I refuse to forget
    Who is knocking at my door, at this hour...a junky? Go away (fried)
    I’m not here no more; I just wish to be alone...hanging outside...

    There’s no sound...I keep to myself...nothing wrong with my state
    Of mental health...God plays with loaded and hate
    Future I can see, let’s play...
    Disturbs my friend, the scientist who walks by Route 89, that highway
    Who can it be now? We are living in? A lie
    Extraordinary times...How ordinary are...I?
    I’m attracted to plenty...a symphony of souls...
    A little bit of this, a little bit of that, Rules
    A little bit of me in this kind of passion
    I’m entranced by this consuming love, changing fashion

    Charged with sexual fever...
    Love from afar...unexplored feelings, disbeliever
    For the’s all been a game...
    I have now discovered a new peak, the loneliest, the same
    Of mortal reflection...a sacred moment...sanctify
    If you can see...share the intimacy...give someone else a try...
    The heavens can open rivers of time part...
    Marry world is filled with strange heart
    The look of love, promise of paradise...what is your reason for living? Lost keys...
    I don’t know all the answers...all the information....these
    Intense feelings I all create...never judge the look
    By your armor...unleash my knight; I’m standing in the unwritten book
    Not waving good-bye...unaware you are...I am
    It’s understandable....should I try like Steven Crane, John Lennon, Paul Gauguin,
    Leo Tolstoy, Frank Lloyd Wright, Pablo Picasso, Henri Matisse, Eugene O’ Neill,
    And George Orwell....who cares about poor grades....What do you feel?
    Looking for an answer...trying to find the design....
    I am still singing the lost-love song from those days-ran over, behind
    Get back to the beauty of a naked Greek goddess, exposed in private...
    My instinctive channels....intercommunicate
    That music of that one human voice is memorizing, born out of time....
    So little time...I’ll be coming back for more to my mountain-my rhyme
    It’s not something which really exists, so abstract....
    But, I have this streak of wildness....of madness, as a matter of fact

    Suppressed for years...
    I turn to the night, in my fears.
    To my pillow...not truly isolated, plugged into space
    A network of beauty-brilliant revelation, birthplace
    Programmed into the Renaissance, I find
    In my theater of my emotionally torn mind...
    The cast shares a common sorrow....contagious grief
    Makes me sweat from the bright lights; Make it brief
    Their endured mental and physical agony
    Does not destroy them; we don’t forget our lines; “to-be, or not to-be”
    Why we are on stage...who we are performing for...
    Stepping into the start of the Twilight Zone...our allure
    My mind spreads its wings, return to being upside down...hauntingly, beautiful sound.
    We’ll sing and dance to a new song; the feeling never goes away, I’ve found.

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