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1-3' Wachuma per participant
∞ x Patience
∞ x Blessings over the preparations
I. Cut near the base of the Wachuma, preferably on a day when the moon is in a waxing cycle. Fruit days are best.
II. Slice a fine v-shaped strip down the plant where the thorns are located to remove them in one smooth movement.
III. Use a dull knife (particularly the tip should be dull) to lift the waxy layer from the edges you have exposed in step II. Also lift the end edges of the Wachuma.
IV. Although it seems logical to pull the waxy layer in strips vertically, it is much easier to slowly pull back the waxy layer with your fingers horizontally. It may also be easier to slice the Wachuma into sections so one can remove bits at a time, thereby reducing the opportunity for tearing. Do not use a knife for this as you will cut away the valuable deep coloured flesh.
V. After all waxy layers are removed slice off only the deep coloured tissue, approximately 2-5 mm thick depending on age of the Wachuma. If excess white/cream coloured flesh is taken with the deep coloured flesh, remove this excess as if filleting a fish until the slices are predominantly deep in colour.
VI. Julienne the deep coloured flesh and place into a freezer safe container. After all of the desired Wachuma has been removed from the core, you may discard the core and place the finely sliced flesh into the freezer overnight.
VII. 12-24 hours later you may remove the frozen Wachuma from the freezer and place into a crockpot on low heat for 12-24 hours, specifically until a squishy mash develops — somewhat resembling baby food.
VIII. Remove hot mash and strain through wire mesh strainer, thoroughly removing all liquid from the mash. Use layers of gloves to squeeze the mash if feeling ambitious.
IX. Take the trippy looking liquid and place in a pot for reducing on low heat over 1-3 hours, stir occasionally to avoid sticking of substances to pot. Do not over cook this liquid, just slightly reduce the fluid to a viscous gravy sorta thing.
X. Take two dish cloths (with reasonably fine threading), wet them, and squeeze excess water from the cloths. Use these WET cloths to filter excess plant material from slightly reduced liquid.
XI. Place the filtered liquid back into the pot and reduce slightly again. Again, do not over cook this liquid, just slightly reduce the fluid to a less viscous gravy. Sort of like the first gravy is like homemade chicken stock. This one is more like thanksgiving turkey gravy.
XII. Repeat step X.
XIII. Place filtered liquid back into the pot and reduce to a tacky substance that is a malleable goo. Transport the goo to a cup than can be easily scraped from.
XIV. Place cup into fridge and cool for 12-24 hours. Place into freezer for long term storage.
XV. Remove the Wachuma goo from the fridge or freezer when the time for ingesting has arrived. Use a bit of flour in a bowl to avoid getting the Wachuma stuck on fingers while rolling the goo into small balls about the size of your pinky finger tip. Toss the balls in the flour and place on a plate.
XVI. Divide the balls as per number of participants and swallow with orange juice to balance the pH in the stomach.