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Toasters are nothing to boast about they are no reason to scream and shout
my toaster it was average too it was plain and boring like cabbage stew.
The toast that came was like russian roulette some was black and some was still bread
occasional he would get a piece perfedctly right but only if I stayed up making toast all night
This is a tribute to his memory I'll tell you his life story this is an obituary.
Average toaster was not a postman he was a humble toastman
he lived in the kitchen world I own
he had an average kinda home.
His wife was a waffle iron she would waffle all day and never iron
He got sick of her so he dumped her for a fryin pan
but she was a lyin pain in the ass
As he grew older the toast it got colder his circuits were fried and the toast he supplied was below par
So I euthinised and took his life by filling his bread recepticles with foam cups
as he melted away I swear I heard him say I'm sorry I was born this way.
RIP average toaster you are in a better place
and now the ghost toast you make will serve a higher purpose.