Hamm Samwich: No. 1 Fukken Vagine

Mothafukka don’t talk
Step back and check the wobble of my asscheeks when I walk
The left side drop down to tha curb
And the right rise up like a see saw inna park
Gettin ridden by two fat tub o’ lard
That ripple hard on impact and bounce back
Like a cartoon water balloon
That drip nectar sweat down the valley of my ass crack

Take a gander at the bitch that you're with
I'm the hot mama make ya bone get stiff
Stick your eyes to my ass like FLIiiies on paper
I'm a grand slam caper

Hamm Samm got the butterfly effect
I jump rope, cities in Japan get wrecked
I wave my hands
and I send the motherfuckin traffic into jams
Cause all the drivers try and crane they neck

Neighborhood dog and cat chase my cheeks
They get a whiff of my kibble and they howl for weeks
Draggin owners behind ‘em
Till they grind the soles off they mothafuckin sneaks
And they heels spring leaks

So consider that the next time
You ever DREAM about ditchin my fucken ass behind
I'm the number one fucken vagine
I'm the number one fucken vagine...

(Harmonica Solo)

Now how about shutting that trap?
Hour upon hour had to listen to ya motha fucken ass yap
I don't care and I never did care
Bout nothin but the sound of my derrier clap

Think I'd rather drown to death
Than have to sit around listen to ya chat boutcha BF
To me it's like nothing but a hurricane of bad breath.
Rainin down killin small children
and leavin town's bereft

Boy you wanna make a mess do it on the shitter
I ain't here to wipe your ass or be a babysitter
Turn your face to the flash of the papparazz
Stand in place and don't fuck up my shots

You look good when you stand beside me
And better when you smack my ass and ride me
But zip that lip unless you tellin me yes
Or given out your home address to the man who drive me

Cause I'm top of the line
I am the number one fucken vagine
I'm the number one fucken vagine
I'm the number one fucken vagine