Man, this must be like parallel universe night. You know that cat that was just in here, who just ran out the door? Well, he comes up to the counter, you know, and I say, "What's the word, turd?" and he lays down this burrito and he kind of looks at me, kind of stares at me, and then he says, "I have but recently returned from the valley of the shadow of death. I am rapturously breathing in all the odors and essences of life. I've been to the brink of total oblivion. I remember and ferment a desire to remember everything."

So, what'd you say to that?

Well, I mean, what could I say? I said "If you're going to microwave that burrito, I want you to poke holes in the plastic wrapping because they explode, and I'm tired of cleaning up your little burrito doings. You dig me? 'Cause the jalapenos dry up. They're like little wheels."