Mind-Blowing Alternate Endings to Famous Movies and TV Shows

The Cracked Podcast on November 15, 2013 23:22


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    In part two, Jack O'Brien invites Cracked writers Soren Bowie, Cody Johnston, Michael Swaim, and director Abe Epperson into the studio to offer their alternate endings to 'The Dark Knight Rises,' 'Wall-E,' 'Forrest Gump,' and 'Breaking Bad.'

    Released by: Earwolf
    Release/catalogue number: 11
    Release date: Nov 18, 2013


    28 timed comments and 0 regular comments

    • Robert Perona
    • Mike Furner
    • Raebles
    • coriswashingmachine
      coriswashingmachine at 1.04.05 on July 25, 2014 20:16

      You guys should check out 'E Stato il Figlio', though in italian, has a CRAZY double ending. Seriously.

    • vossville
      vossville at 0.00 on April 05, 2014 22:18

      Bought this album for this 1 song

    • ROMAN
      ROMAN at 41.36 on March 12, 2014 01:55

      no one ever comments???

    • Pablo Gramajo
      Pablo Gramajo at 42.00 on February 11, 2014 05:03

      "I'm gonna Batman my way out of here" hahahah

    • Christopher Scott 65
      Christopher Scott 65 at 30.17 on February 03, 2014 20:22

      It makes me mad that Gump beat out Pulp Fiction and Shawshank Redemption for best picture.

    • Christopher Scott 65
      Christopher Scott 65 at 27.14 on February 03, 2014 20:20

      That said, the people on the bench could be a truncated version of the Shakespeare "7 ages of man" thing

    • Christopher Scott 65
    • Janae' Martin
      Janae' Martin at 0.10 on January 08, 2014 16:10

      Is he playing this ironically?

    • AStStudios-Rodger
      AStStudios-Rodger at 18.33 on December 11, 2013 22:15

      what if the robot memory uses a an eventual consistency redundant data storage mechanism. in that case Eva would be the closest node to wall.e and would have the closest copy of his data. its not magic, its how Facebook and Google already work.

    • Shlok Grover
      Shlok Grover at 1.04.34 on December 03, 2013 03:52

      Rowling's ending to Harry Potter actually does play on the idea of ultimate destiny if you remember Harry and Dumbledore's conversation at the end of the 6th book, where Dumbledore makes it clear that it's not destiny that's driving the Prophecy, but the respective characters of Harry and Voldemort. The other important part of the Prophecy is "the Dark Lord will mark him as an equal". Voldemort did that when he tried to kill Harry as a baby; that's what gave Harry the ability to see into his mind and speak to snakes. It's also what (primarily, in addition to Voldemort being evil) made Harry want to put an end to him; he killed his parents and ruined his life. And even if Harry had just abandoned his personal vendetta against Voldemort, because Voldemort (being a paranoid megalomaniac) believed Harry would be compelled by the universe to kill him, he would have continued to hunt Harry. Yes, it could have easily been Neville who was "the Chosen One" precisely because there's no such thing - Harry wasn't destined to be Voldemort's downfall; Voldemort ensured that he would be.

    • Adam Herbstreit
      Adam Herbstreit at 1.37 on November 26, 2013 23:33

      oh boy, more shitty rap music!

    • Eoin Hayes
      Eoin Hayes at 20.44 on November 22, 2013 13:51

      As regards Wall-E, deleted data doesn't just disappear. This video explains it pretty well. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5s4-Kak49o Maybe eve could have like "awoken" his memories.

    • BradawgPow
      BradawgPow at 55.00 on November 22, 2013 09:30

      @BradawgPow: I made multiple spelling and grammatical errors, I realize this. Like when I meant devise as apposed to devices. I know I made some errors but I hope you can still understand it.

    • BradawgPow
      BradawgPow at 55.00 on November 22, 2013 09:28

      This is my ultimate ending for BB... So Ozymandias was great, leave that the way it was (although considering Walt spent so much time throwing Hank under the bus I would rather see Walt's resentment towards Jesse for ratting fuel his anger and ultimately be the reason that the Nazis should finish him off) but "Granite State," is where you start making your big changes. In the final shot of "Ozymandias," we see the van drive away, symbolizing Walter's new start. So instead of starting 'Granite' with Walt and Saul, you open it with a shot of Walter waking up in the truck. Then you show Forrester giving him his new I.D and give him the same kind of speech that he did in the house; "if you leave this place you will get caught." Have Forrester give him a brief run down of the house outside and then send him on his way. Walter looks at the simplicity of his new home and is instantly angered at the loss of all his power. After that you do the Skyler lawyer room scene and leave that the way it is. Then cut to Jesse's whole thing with his escape, but when Todd goes to kill Andrea more than one person go to the house and kill both her and Brock. So now is when a lot changes. We cut back to Walter and it's again clear that he is extremely unhealthy, and Forrester administers the chemo. As he's leaving Forrester says something like, "Oh I almost forgot" and gives Walt his new glasses and the newspapers. This is where Walt learns that Jesse is still cooking (they mention the purity or something). Walt is angered by this, he notices that one of the pieces of the newspaper is still folded even though he unfolded the whole thing. He shakes it and the piece falls out. He looks closely, and we see a tear roll out of his eye. It's an obits page with Andrea and Brock, and Skyler and JR's obits printed on it. Walt is beside himself. (So at this point I think we have probably covered about half of the episode considering I omitted a couple of things. Maybe a little over half.) After Forrester leaves his house, Walt devices his plan, and instead starts back to New Mexico now. So for a little bit (mostly so that we don't have to bother with Walt treking to that bar) we see Jesse. Just completely haggered, just wanting to die. Cooking crystal, being abused, everything. We watch Walter steal a car and he makes it back to New Mexico where he goes to the graves of JR and Skyler. The only thing is how far would he go to find out where Holly is. Maybe he could call (kind of like he did with Gretchen and Elliot) just to make sure she was OK. Seeing the graves brings him to tears again (cue theme song) and he walks away in such a way that you know he will wreak havoc on Jack and the gang. This kind of goes to what you were saying that they were just dumber and less evil. This episode could boost their level of evil a bit. So the next episode deals with Walt, he gets the ricin, but I want Walter to find his bag (hidden somewhere really cool, like possibly a throwback to a previous episode. Or maybe just in the desert like with the rest of his shit) of mercury fulminate and blow up that coffee shop with bitch Lydia and asshole Todd. He's just being ruthless this episode, racking up all the bodies. I didn't want him to be redeemed either, and it kind of pissed me off how they went for the 'he was addicted to the meth through the power that he had' thing. So now, instead of him giving jack a new recipe, he's divulging information on who murdered Todd. Cut to Marie, addicted to anti-depressants, hear a baby crying, and she is just sad, alone, her soul has been ripped out, the only thing keeping her together is Holly and the pills. We see a usual day in the life of Marie, going to work, cooking dinner, just surviving, but living with no purpose. Everybody she loved is dead. We cut to Walt in the desert building the gun (sorry but that whole thing was so Tony Stark esque and just fucking badass) and then we move on to him driving through New Mexico, he sees a Saul Goodman billboard being replaced by a Los Pollos Hermanos one (just for shits and gigs) and Walter is truly at full rage. He pulls to a stop light and there stands badger and he sees into the car and sees it's Walt. Walter sees him as well and just nods. This kind of driving by and seeing a world he once knew symbolizes some sort of true final goodbye. He pulls up to a house and it belongs to Marie, but he sees her coming out with Holly and quickly drives away. He now knows that at least one bit of his family is still safe. Now he has to go and take care of Jack to make sure things stay that way. So he does the whole thing with Todd's uncle like he did in the actual "Felina," episode except his uncle is delivering it sadder. Trying to fight tears. The same sort of thing happens during the confrontation and Jack is going to kill him, but Walt does the same sort of thing again, telling him that he partnered with Jesse and knew he was alive. And he says, "Give me Pinkman, and I'll give you everything you want, including my life." Jack nods to have him brought in. We now do Jesse's flashback to his wood working, and the tugging of the apron is Todd's uncle tugging on the chain trying to get his attention. Jesse comes in, Walt tackles him and kills the crew, but Jack gets hit in the leg by ricochet. Walter then delivers an extremely dark monologue to the, "Crawl Space" music about how he murdered Todd. About how easy it was, about how much fun he had. About how it was pointless to take JR's and Skyler's lives. Jack is terrified, this is Walter's final stand as Heisenberg. Walter kills Jack, and turns to Jesse. Jesse is laying on the floor, defenseless, crying. Jesse truly is the rabid dog, Jesse is begging to Walter for forgiveness. Jesse truly was like a son, his most loyal ally. Jesse asks Walter to kill him, he can't go on, Walter wrestles with this. He begs and begs and finally Walter agrees. Walt puts him out of his misery... Walter escapes the compound, we watch him (he is completely silent) during his final days. It's soon obvious that Walter has used the ricin on himself and as fans we know that Walter will still die only on his terms, nobody elses, not even cancer's... We see a shot of the outside of The Crossroads Motel, police have gathered intel that Walt is inside. The cops bust down the door, and search the room to Dave Porter's "White House Visit." Walt is dead, lying on the floor. Everybody has failed, nobody is redeemed, and everybody is dead. If you think he is kinda sorta redeemed for putting Jesse out of his misery he isn't... The only reason he is there is because of Walt... There you go, that's my ultimate ending to BB

    • Kevin Severy
      Kevin Severy at 28.44 on November 21, 2013 04:39

      But he has a copy of Fortune magazine, which has a picture of him and Lt. Dan on the cover.

    • purejosie
      purejosie at 1.09.13 on November 20, 2013 21:39

      This is my first time listening to this podcast. I like it--the guys are silly but seem half-way intelligent. I like your dark endings.

    • Sorry, Must Dash
    • Dan Wasserman
    • T-Rex Dance Party
    • Pattseh
      Pattseh at 23.42 on November 18, 2013 23:41

      Awesome stuff guys, keep it up!

    • Somethindarker
      Somethindarker at 33.48 on November 18, 2013 22:59

      The theory of Forrest Gump bullshitting his way through the story was implied throughout the movie already. The old fat dude was calling his bullshit when he was leaving but then Gump pulled out the forbes magazine or whatever and proved to the audience that he's telling the truth.

    • Granola Bob
      Granola Bob at 4.02 on November 18, 2013 22:18

      You guys are retards. -GranolaBob

    • Liar,
      Liar, at 1.04.34 on November 18, 2013 11:48

      Woah, haha. Called it xP

    • Liar,
      Liar, at 40.37 on November 18, 2013 11:17

      *SPOILERS* Cracked is staffed by a bunch of slow dummies who happened to fumble there way through this podcast

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