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Long rumoured to be a dangerous cult operating on the fringes of decent society and dating back to approximately 1666AD, The CHURCH OF WHEN THE SHIT HITS THE FAN has recently been exposed to be so much more than hinted at in those campfire sing-songs, paranoid conspiracy rants and Hollywood thrillers.

Some call COWTSHTF the harbringer of the end of all things as prophesised in the Book of Revelations 3:18:

"Lo, a tremendous beat shall render the sky apart and that beat is crunk. A cipher shall summon forth beasts tentacled and unknowable from that blackened chasm and those words shall be known as hyperbolic rythmic bouffon."

Others consider COWTSHTF to be the only defence protecting humanity against the majestic and awesome forces that hover outside a merely thin hymen 'twixt dimensions awaiting any chance to crush us out of existence.

Although many have carried the Torch and the Seal of the COWTSHTF down through the ages, the current initiates have long been prophesised to carry the burden of the COWTSHTF, whose true purpose is known only to them. The Torch carrier is HQ, a spell caster who has worked extensivley with the cryptographers in the COWTSHTF catacombs to uncover the latent meanings beneath the palimpsests of spoken language. The Seal is carried by AA, a warrior highly regarded and decorated for his ferocity in battles up and down the Northern Lands. He is also an alchemist who uses magic boxes to sculpt auraus in thin air.

Toghether, these bearers of the Torch and the Seal of the COWTSHTF will continue to wage an unending war against forces unimagined and unimaginable.

COWTSHTF Church of when the shit hits the fan, Scotland, Britain (UK)


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