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Music Producer and Professional DJ. Carlo Montone. (Surname pronounced 'Mon-tone-e').
....'It is true that I have known Carlo Montone now for many years and he has asked me to construct a biography of his life, I will do this honestly and objectively.
Carlo is a flawed individual.He is by far and away the most pretentious person I have ever known, his arrogance and self-worth is at times laughable; he claims to people that he can cook, but his flatmate fervently told me:
“Carlo does no cooking, all he does is beans on toast and then he burns the toast..."
...what does this say about the integrity and candour of the man?
The truth is I know his secret and I will expose it here and now. He wants you to buy his music, because he is actually a shape-shifting reptilian and his plan is to introduce illuminati symbolism within the music. His sole intention is for you all to buy his work, so you will be brainwashed into hating and possibly, killing each other.
Remarkable books have exposed Mr Montone as a blood guzzling lizard. Montone who uses the pseudonym, 'Pindar', will be distraught at finally being recognised by the public.
His music I have to admit though is outstanding; the flowing rhythm coupled with the heavy bass, allows one to experience a feeling of tranquillity when listening to the vibes.I always use it when I am seducing honey's and I always tell the lady I am Carlo.
Hey.. we can all lie.
Anyway, enough of this 'I love you' shit.. I am here to make a point about the man himself.
Has Pindar fooled you like he fooled me for so many years?
Maybe he has, but I hope you all read this and not be too harsh on him, because despite his endless flaws he is a very decent person, if a little eccentric.
They do say that geniuses are a little flawed and he certainly is that.
If I see any more women throwing themselves at this ungodly creature I will spread this news further. You don't want lizard babies. I hope this biography was useful...'Colonel Chegwin (aka MC Ludford).
'Carlo loves women'Dr Mad