Fancy a glass of swampwater lemonade?

Soundtrack from a back alley peepshow performance, in which the soldier-suitor is coaxed back into the arms of the one he left behind, Miss Comfort.

Recipe for MIss Comfort's Award-winning Swampwater Lemonade is as follows:

50 lemons, halved with a rusty shovel
Strain out the seeds through a WWII parachute skirt into a kiddie pool of fresh well water
Stir well with your feet. Do not remove your shoes.
Pour by shovel into a broken glass
Add a shovel full of sugar to taste
Serve at room temperature