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Nobody knows the origins of the man they call Bad Cop, the most feared and revered weapon of the United States Central Intelligence Agency. Some say he was created by Russian scientists and hasn't seen the light of day since Bill Clinton was president. Some say he never blinks and that he thought Star Wars was a documentary, While others have said that he's not even a real cop, and that he actually works for pleasure. Rumor has it, as a condition to being stationed at any given top-security facility, he requires full reign of the attic space or top floor of said facility, in exchange for his legendary expertise in the interrogation room, which would explain multiple reports of far-off sounding basslines in the middle of the night as well as reports of increase amounts of incoming calls from nudist colonies. Some say he once punched a horse to the ground and if he caught fire he would burn for a thousand days. Bad Cop is only ever called in to practice his dark arts when all other feasible options have been exhausted. Some say his first name really is Bad and that he knows two facts about ducks and both of them are wrong Few have actually seen him, and eye witness accounts vary greatly. Some accounts depict him wearing a robe and slippers, being unshaven with long, unkempt hair, while others swear they were interrogated by a tuxedo model. All we know for certain is, there has never been anybody Bad Cop was not able to crack.

¡ℬ◮ↁ ₵☢P! Kyle Walker, San Jose, United States

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